Day 14: Safari

Day 14: Safari

So I’m still feeling icky. But come on people…I don’t have malaria.

I have very limited energy and feel very weak. I lost my voice and sound like a coughing bullfrog. But no one here knows what my real voice sounds like so they just think I’m the pale Texas version of James Earl Jones.

We planned a day to safari and since safari is a lot of sitting and all I’m really good at lately is sitting, today was as good as any. Now before we start I have to correct your mental imagery. When I say “safari” you think me dressed in a pith helmet, wearing 4 different shades of khaki, sporting a vest with lots of pockets. Stop right there. Going on Safari when you know locals is like going to Six Flags. You pack a lunch and Carol drives you two hours to the gate in a borrowed Isuzu 4×4. I know. I know it isn’t as glamorous, but it is just as, if not more fun. I wore sunglasses, a black polo and adventure pants. (The pants had lots of pockets and needed to be washed badly, so that was kind of authentic.)

The place is called Tsavo East (not to be confused with Tsavo West on the other side of the freeway). Remember when I told you that I got to see the animals on the bus ride? The highway bisects the two Wildlife Preserves. These places are HUGE and cover hundreds of square miles. We pulled into the gate and it was very ordinary. It cost $40 US dollars to get in. I was slightly underwhelmed, but I was very happy to have a bathroom. In Africa, you get to play the “how long can you hold it game” at least once per day. This particular toilet had more mosquitos than I have seen in my entire African experience. And after the abundance of morning coffee and two hour commute, I was willing to brave Dagoba swamp for relief.

So after the mosquito swarm, we mounted our Isuzu Trooper and began the theme song of safari: Low gear. In the car with me are Carol, the driver, Malcolm, and his son, Colin. Colin and Carol are birdwatchers and are picking out birds right and left. “Yellow breasted this, non-mating that, …smallest bird of prey in Kenya” It was dizzying. After ten minutes of driving, all you could see in every direction is grass, trees, and the orange dirt road. Then it happenned.

“Warthog 9:00”

This isn’t a HALO post. See the way you do safari is you have to call what you see and where so the driver can stop and everyone can see. I was looking 9:00 and didn’t see anything, but then Pumba walked out from behind the bush. Outside my window was a warthog. I’m so into this.

Do you remember the scene in Jurassic Park when the paleontologist drives out over the the plain and it is filled with dinosaurs. Picture that, but with elephants, zebra, and giraffe. A-mazing. And when you cut the ignition the silence is profound. It is like you are the only people left in the world. No world noise at all. Just wind, bird wings, bugs, and animal steps or calls. 

Here is a list of all the animals I saw:
Elephant, zebra, giraffe, baboon, monkeys, monitor lizard, 10 other kinds of lizards, warthog, oryx, water buffalo lookin things, more kinds of deer/antelope/gazelle than I could discern (the coolest was the size of a small dog), jackal, ostrich, and I can’t count the birds, but they were like tropical fish in color. Indescribable. Sadly, we saw no big cats (lion, panther, cheetah)

I took over 200 pictures. The place was huge. I thought Montana was big, this was big like that, but AFRICA big.

We ate peanut butter and jelly for lunch at the camp site. (Yes you can camp there.) This was where I realized this wasn’t a Disney safari. Baboons came. We got back into the car and a baboon sat outside my window watching me eat. He yawned at me. They have big teeth. Dracula with caps big. Fangs. He wanted to kill me for that sandwich. This wasn’t Magic Kingdom Africa. This was Africa Africa. There are no fences here. There are no walls. 

Later when the elephant charged the car, this was Africa. When it charged the car again. This was Africa. When we had to wait thirty minutes in a stand off with a HUGE elephant. When he flapped his ears, snorted and shook his head…Africa. 

I was not feeling great, but I just had to sit so it wasn’t bad. We drove back to Mombassa after dark and stopped for dinner at a BBQ/italian/chinese restaurant. I ate kabobs and bread again. It was a supercool day. I went sleep hard.

BTW:
Driving on the Savannah for eight hours clears your sinus’s better than sudafed.